Addendum to the Official Rules of Hobo-try

The following rules of Hobo-try should also be considered during interactions:

• Souped-up vespas (preferably with dragons on the front) are the best mode of travel
• Hobos always take you out below the knees
• Musical tastes typically involve lesser known bands
• Folk, punk rock, & ska are the favorite genres
• They always give unsuspecting babies mohawks

Official Rules of Hobo-try

After much campfire discussion this evening, it was determined that there need to be some unofficial official rules for whenever anybody hangs out with a bunch of hobos. The most important of all these rules is that they are mine and the second most important rule is that I make them up as I go. As long as you pay attention to those cardinal rules, you're golden, though I utterly loathe that particular phrase. Why I just opted to use it, nobody will ever know.
So in no particular order, here are the remaining Rules of Hobo-try:

• Somebody must always be referred to as Hobo Billy Bone
• Any beverage located within a paper bag is considered hobo juice
• Hobos are only able to afford moccasins
• The official fire-starting theme song is "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel
• Fires get better once you kick them
• Always have an assortment of knives, wooden clubs, and machetes at your disposal
• Public gatherings should always occur around campfires
• Whenever a fire sparks, it means it doesn't appreciate your attitude
• If your hands get cold, pick up a flaming log to warm them up
• List writing should not occur on flammable materials that can be easily dropped into the fire
• You must have read at least one book from the Boxcar Kids series
• Always say "inertial motion" three-times fast
• Catchphrase of the hipster hobo is: "It's not my cup of tea, it's my bag of Pepsi."
• Don't accidentally slice off a part of your finger with a hatchet
• Rule #42 is you don't leave before a fire is out
• The Little Dipper is forever off clubbing baby seals
• Rule #43 is you put fires out yourself
• One must wear a knit cap with a pen sticking out from it so the shadow of a pen looks like a scar on your face
• The majority of the rules must involve fire
• Hobos are not to be arsonists
• There much be much laughter when gathered with other hobos
• Always stare into the flames of a fire in a contemplative manner
• Remember that life is not all about you
• God is in charge of your life
• Tostito's are an essential snack
• The list of rules is never ending and can be added to at any time when necessary